02 Jun 09 A good marriage is about sharing
An old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine – they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.’
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked ‘What is it you are waiting for?’
She answered
‘HIS DENTURES’
Tags: Blogs, husband and wife, Jokes, Marriage, Sharing
31 May 09 Spelling Checker
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plainly marks four my revue,
Mistake I cannot sea.
I’ve run this poem threw it,
I’m sure your please to no.
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
Tags: Dependence on technology, joke, Spelling Checker
21 May 09 Protected: My URL
20 May 09 Joke-Thankful
”Be thankful?. What have i to be thankful for when I cannot pay any of my bills!”
”Then be thankful you aren’t one of the creditors you owed money to.”
Tags: Creditors, joke, Thankful
20 May 09 Who discovered America?
Teacher: Jane, go to the map and find North America ..
Jane: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
Class: Jane
Tags: America, joke, Map, Teacher
20 May 09 Joke-Multiplication Table
Teacher: David, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
David: You told me to do it without using tables.
Tags: joke, Multiplication Table
18 May 09 How to get into heaven?
A teacher was testing the children in class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
She asked them, ‘If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?’
‘NO!’ the children answered.
‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?’
Again, the answer was, ‘NO!’
By now she was starting to smile.
‘Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?’ She asked them again.
Again, they all answered, ‘NO!’
She continued, ‘Well, then how can I get into Heaven?’
A five-year-old boy shouted out, ‘YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.’
Tags: get into heaven, got to be dead, heaven
16 May 09 Jewish Blood
No offense to the Jews who are probably the smartest people we ever know. They are also very thrifty people. But someone sent this joke to me and it is really funny.
Here is the joke:
An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises.
Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.
Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank-you card for giving his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token of his appreciation.
Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again. ?And his doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank You card and a box of Almond Roca sweets.
The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge the Jew’s kind gesture in the same way as he had done the first time.
So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very generous manner.
The Arab replied : “Yahabibi !!, I have Jewish blood now,remember..!?” ? ? ?????
Tags: Arabs, Blood Transfusion, Donation, Heart Surgery, Jews
14 May 09 John Piper – What does it mean to get saved?
It means that the Devil is socked by the Lord, and the eyes go open, and the foolishness of the Cross becomes wisdom and power!
Tags: Cross, Gospel, John Piper, Salvation
13 May 09 A very powerful sermon about Sexual Sin
A very powerful sermon about Sexual Sin
Tags: American Sins, Guilt, Masturbation, Pornography, Satan, Sexual Sin, Shame, Warcraft
